Full Moon in Uttara Bhadrapada : Discernment in the Deep

As I write this it is 7:24, 30 minutes before exact degrees of the Full Moon in Pisces (by the time you get this, it will be past the Full Moon because it's been a rough few days;-) This Full Moon is happening in the sidereal (Vedic) sign of Pisces, offering intuition, connection to spirit and a footless and wandering Mind. The specific star, or nakshatra, this Moon is in is called Uttara Bhadra Pada and is the 'Later Blessed Result” Where we move deep into what were once only spiritual glimpses and find the truth in the poison. This nakshatra is ruled by Ahirbudhnya, the serpent of the deep and forces us to go within and either surrender or essentially choke on our own toxicity. The second to last star of the Vedic zodiac, it is a place where there is potential for deep spiritual wisdom.

...We are still in the midst of a Mars/Ketu conjunction, although it is beginning to separate and the Sun is now 4 degrees away from Mercury, offering a little bit more room for feeling heard, although not too much. The Sun and Mercury are across from the Moon in Sidereal Virgo, where we have been offering our Power and Communication to the details. While speech and information collecting is generally more fact-based and accurate with Mercury in its home sign (and also where it's exalted) of Virgo, joined the Sun in close degrees we may feel a bit of a short fuse in both the speaking and the listening department. We might also be extra touchy as the Sun in Virgo emanates self-doubt, criticism and a strong urge to purify and organize. With the Moon in the dreamy, selfless waters of Pisces, we may have a particularly spacey drive to do things right now. While we are activated to finish off whatever began in May for us in the house Mars and Ketu are exploding, we are not present with the details and can easily get sidetracked on a different course. To boot, we are easy to react with such a touchy situation in Virgo, even as we know better. Especially since we likely compromised on our beliefs somewhere along the way with the Jupiter/Venus conjunction in Libra....Where does this leave us now? Well, hoping to make it till the end of the week, I suppose;-) With all this energy, it's a great time to clean, organize or jump start a personal project (not someone else's)...it is not necessarily the best time to co-create, as the Virgo in us is feeling pretty sure that everyone else is not doing “it” right. Also, our lack of attention to the details will not likely be missed by others, who will quickly point out our fallibilities and probably not in the gentlest of ways. While many a Full Moon are great to socialize, this one might be better for solo projects or at least group efforts where everyone has their roles carefully partitioned out. It is also a great time to connect to your spiritual practices and forms of divination and to soak in healing water.


As for my own Epic Fail during this Full Moon....
Even when you tune into the rhythms and try to circumvent disaster, at times it is imminent and all you can do is keep reflecting back to yourself and make a new choice and then if the choices keep leading you back to one thing, it may be time to explode that thing. As a spiritual teacher, I find it important to recognize where I am still doing my work and becoming more whole. While I always engage with the information I am offering as advice we all can look at, including me, it is nice to show examples of our own fallibilities and also wins.

On the 20th, right after the Moon passed over Mars and Ketu but two days before they entered exact degrees, a friend of mine who has been graciously hosting my son and I while we figure out where we are going to live leaves on a trip and drops the unpleasant surprise that he has invited a friend of his (whom I have met) to stay in his room while he is away because she is going through some challenging times as well. I expressed to him that I haven't really “bonded” with that particular friend and that I was really counting on having the space to myself, as we had previously agreed. I felt hurt that he did not discuss it with me or hold any space for me and my son's experience. This is where I felt un-listened to-Combust Mercury. This is also where I compromised on my beliefs-Venus/Jupiter conjunction in Libra because I didn't really call him out on the fact that he was just completely changing our agreement without any notice or discussion. I decided to “have compassion” for her situation. Venus in Libra...trying to make compromises so everyone wins, and on his part, trying to make everyone happy.

Fast-forward to the 22nd, the day of reckoning Mars and Ketu in exact degrees, an explosive alignment we have seen two other times this summer. She has now crossed several boundaries of mine over the past two days, which I have quickly and kindly addressed and explained what my boundary is. A big win for me, not my forte! She begins a “clean-up” mission on the place and I decide to help her, thinking it will be good for our friend and maybe we can get rid of some of the extra clutter. Before I know it, she has gone literally ballistic and is throwing out everything he owns. I had to beg her to allow me to bring some stuff to Goodwill at least instead of tossing his lifetime of memories with his deceased wife in the trash chute, which she repeatedly reminded me was “right outside the door”. On the 23rd, I drove the stuff to Goodwill and then had to go out of town about two hours drive to deal with some previous engagements I had.

I came home the next day, the Full Moon, the 24th,, to find she had gotten rid of the couch, carpet, multiple other furniture items and almost every piece of art this man owns. His place looks empty and sad. To boot, I had begged this woman to wait two more days until I could get my son and I on the road for a trip before she did any serious clearing and cleaning.  Enter Mars/Ketu with precise language and short fuse of Mercury/Sun in Virgo! I let loose on her, letting her know exactly how I felt about her behavior. I explained to her in a loud voice how she had been crossing my boundaries since she arrived and every time I asked her not to do something, she did it anyway. She had no regard for me or the owner (our friend) and in my eyes, needed to be put in her place and let it be known that I recognized her behavior. She also was not present with the details or effects of what she was doing, nor was I.. in berating her, I was swallowing my own poison (Uttara Bhadrapada) nor was our mutual friend, avoiding conflict at all costs and continuing to just “go with the flow”- Moon in Pisces.
I was, however able to find the spiritual lesson in it all (which is also Pisces), and write a loving and kind letter to my friend thanking him for all his kind and generous help, bringing to his awareness this woman's actions over the last few days, offering what would've worked better for me in our communication, and sending him much love. He didn't necessarily receive it as I intended, but that is really not for me to be concerned with, except into see the ways that maybe I could communicate better. By owning my feelings and seeing what took place to unravel my sense of stability, I made peace with it, whether or not anyone else could see their role. As far as her, I have set a boundary that unfortunately had to be incredibly firm, but it was ultimately effective in keeping me and my child safe from anymore disruption to our lives. Boundaries have to do with Saturn and it has been direct since the beginning of September, offering us stronger boundaries, especially in the area of what we believe to be right, Sagittarius.

My first pick is to not have to deal with a person whom has a lack of capacity to work with or respect others, but often it is not immediate that the change can take place. So, we work with what we have at our disposal in every moment and then get out as soon as possible. I had actually one day before made a vow to myself to start setting my boundaries a little farther from myself, so I didn't have to set them so close later. Then enters the situation where my opinion is dismissed and my control thwarted. I made the decision to leave right away but needed to secure a new situation, which happened instantly, but was days away from being ready to move.
I think it is so important that we own our part in conflict and are constantly looking at our own blind spots and places we need to grow. We don't always have a win, sometimes we do or say something we regret, but if we always just keep being aware and trying to dive in deeper, we are on the right path.
I do want to say that one of the less positive things that can happen in spiritual communities or pseudo-spiritual communities is that we can and do overlook personality disorders or abusive situations when we focus only on “doing the work”. Yes, we each, even when we are the abused or “taken advantage of” often must do personal work to see where we could better hold our boundaries, but sometimes they are crossed anyway. We also should and need to Get Out of the situation first. Often, in order for that to happen, we have to recognize the behavior as abusive or “wrong”. This requires looking at the other person with discernment, in a way many pseudo-spiritual practices tacitly or overtly avoid and consider “bad”. I believe true spiritual practices support looking at others with discernment and holding one's boundaries, and of course trying to honor those of others...
Hope this was helpful and insightful and that you had a productive and deep Full Moon, busy busting up the last of what Mars and Ketu have to do in whatever house Capricorn is in your sidereal (Vedic) chart. If you want more insight on that, and also Venus' placement for the next few months, sign up for our mailing list and you will receive the FREE report on Mars and Venus till the end of 2018 for all 12 rising signs!